Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
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* Saturday, July 31, 2004 *
Being a Nerdette
Its a Saturday night and here I am in the LSAC studying.
Alone.
Pretty pathetic but at this point I really don't have much of a choice. I'm having difficulty studying alone. After a year I've realized that I study better with people around me. Unfortunately, the only places I can study with people around me are also the places I can't stand the temperature. I can't study in cold places. Thus, starbucks in not an option. Maybe I can study in my room (boarding house)...maybe not. Studying there is a ticket to dreamland.
I can't seem to get into the study-groove especially when I'm now reading Rule 114 of the Revised Rules of Court on Bail.
I'm so disappointed with myself because I opted to skip an opportunity to meet up with college friends tonight because I felt that I had to study. But then now that I am stuck in school...I can't get myself to concentrate. What the hell is wrong with me?!
Arrghhhh!!!
Maybe my spirit is resisting any academic activity right now because I feel so alone.
I miss studying with company. I have to get over this stupid difficulty soon.
* * *
I have been going out with two older guys recently. Problem is I'm not certain if what I've been invited to are real dates (in the lets-get-to-know-each-other-more & you'll-never-know way). I've been invited to movies, coffee and meals. The guys pay even when I offer to go dutch. These are impromptu things. I'm usually invited the night before or even a few hours before the actual date(?). Conversations aren't filled with common leading (or fishing) questions. Truth is, they barely have any. Are these real dates?
I can't seem to differentiate friendly-dates from non-friendly ones. What the hell is wrong with me? Perhaps, I don't want to be assuming.
Why do I need to differentiate? Well, I don't want to be totally clueless as to what I'm actually saying yes to.
Help.