Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
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* Sunday, August 08, 2004 *
Less than 24 hours til Midterms
This midterms feel weird. I'm not as stressed as I was the past 2 semesters. I'm not quite certain if its because I'm having an easier time to study or because I'm immune. This lack of overwhelming "kaba" worries me.
* * *
I think I got an indecent proposal to get casually intimate with a friend. The weird thing was I "kinda" played along. Until I we went home it was still "jokingly suggested". A few hours ago I was trying to figure out if he was serious. I played the conversations in my head and I realized that it is 60% truth & 40% joke. He was getting touchy (flirty) and showering me with compliments. I was pretty certain he was sane because he didn't make the offer while we were in the middle or after a drinking session. He shared the idea during a time & place that you'd be pretty certain that the person's mental faculties were functioning normally (if not extraordinarily).
Nothing happened. *phew* I reacted to his offer by saying "that too bad its midterms and people are awfully busy during these times". I kidded that it may happen after exams. He replied, "lets cross the bridge when we get there". My reply was, "okay/sure. If there would be a bridge to cross. haha"
But its weird because the guy usually jokes about these things with people around. Unfortunately, I was the only person in the area. I wasn't offended but I wasn't looking forward to it either.
Thank God that he is not really my type or else the joke would really have turned into a serious acceptance of his "joking" offer . He's nice and the thought of doing something exciting is interesting. But at this point in time...Naahhh!
* * *
*** & I haven't been in touch for a whole week. I also found out that he is "seeking" out a girl who he can "hook up" with. Its pretty sad but he does have the right to go out because he is single. Unfortunately, I know him and I know that when he "hooks up" with some girl its not entirely wholesome. That bothers me.