Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
Friends
tambay ka dito pag walang magawa
Leave a Message
* Saturday, August 21, 2004 *
Temporary Relief
Midterms week is finally over. I really missed blogging. Tons of thoughts are swirling inside my head that I just have to get out. Here goes...
I didn't have much of my usual stress-related allergies over the midterms week. Unfortunately, the lack of those also meant I didn't push myself harder. I was still able to sleep and even relax once in a while. Deep inside I know that I could have done better. I didn't factor in the fact that most of my subjects this semester deals with procedural law. I am so bad with memorizing. I remember words but not entire sentences and paragraphs as they appear on print. I thought 2 weeks of studying would suffice. I was dead wrong.
Thus, I will be a finalist this semester. I don't understand why the upperbatch say that this semester is the Dean's List semester when I am having so much difficulty!
* * *
We barely had classes after our midterms. Our professors either cancelled class or opted to only have class for half of the regular class period. My classmates & I made the most out of it of course!
On Tuesday night we attended the school's Chill Out party. I was pretty depressed after the exams and I felt an urge to do something weird. I wanted to lift my spirits even for a while. I went to Powerplant with some of my friends from 4C and then Tin Ng & I went to HIP. I was checking out some earrings and bags with Tin. Fortunately, I saw the nice looking wig in one of the shops. I asked the storekeeper if it was for sale. I tried 2 wigs out. I loved the first one I tried and Tin said it looked good. So I bought it for P1,500+! I was so excited that I didn't mind it cost like two pairs of sandals or a nice bag. Seeing myself with an entirely new look made me feel lighter and happy. A pair of shoes has never made me feel that excited.
When I went back to school most of my friends didn't recognize me. My classmates were shocked. I looked like a girl who jumped out from Anime in AXN. The wig was worth it for its "shock value" alone. I'm looking forward to using it on a regular school day.
* * *
Marmoi a lawschool senior read my fortune using Tarot Cards. He is the real thing. He was aroung 90 % accurate with telling me about my past, my family and my present feelings about J**. It was amazing. The cards told me that I was still in love with J**. It hit me like a truck. I realized that before the card reading I was very much in denial. *sigh*
That evening I kept in touch with J**. I told him that I missed him. He told me that he missed me too and that he loved me still. Last week he told me her wanted to see me. I told him that he can visit me. He never did. Its been 3 days since the exchange of emotional text messages and I haven't heard from him (even when I miss call him). Its really depressing that J** is just all talk. No real effort. If that's the tune he'll be singing then we will never get back together.
I'm dating again but there's just no chemistry. Marmoi said it will take me a year or two to get into another real relationship. I wish he's not that good a fortuneteller then. hehe