Just when I thought this week wouldn't get more difficult I find out that HE (X2) is already a taken man. I don't think this one's a fling people.

It hurts. Its my pride more than anything else. He doesn't know I know so I guess he would never find out how it felt to find out...and of course I wouldn't give him the privilege of finding out I found out and had my pride crushed to the ground.

I wish I got taken first before he did. How I wish.

* * *

To make things worse I went on a date the previous night and realized that the guy I'm dating is not worth it. No its not he's not older or accomplished or something. Its that...we do not have chemistry. I admit many guys would go beyond X2 on many other things but the chemistry I felt being with him is something special. More than an older or more accomplished guy...I'd just want to have someone I'm really comfortable with. Someone I could sit across to and not have to talk at all but feel alright, secure and happy.

Unfortunately, the guy I'm now dating can host his own talk show...he talks so much. As my friend said (who met him)...its like he's doing a monologue. I was so frustrated I actually told him that he talks too much. He asked me if he has improved since he was consciously trying to cut the talking. I said he didn't improve at all. Brutally frank ba? I don't care. I was just sick of listening to a guy talk and talk and not even be curious about the people (not just me) around him. He talked to my friend for an hour while I was reading my cases and he didn't bother to ask my friend stuff about herself. Talk about one way conversation. My friend got tired just listening to him but just smiled and asked him questions.

As for the doctor I used to date...well I made my friend date him and apparently he is slowly going out of his shell (or more appropriately called his closet).

So, there the news about X2 is already sad as it is but adding my terrible dating history since we broke up...that makes things way worse.