I haven't been blogging and its not because I have nothing to blog about. It basically because of bad internet connection at home. It fluctuates. Plus, blogger doesn't seem to cooperate with me pasting written stuff on word unto the "create" window (whatever you call it).

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I've had a few highlights after the disappointing release of grades (not unexpected but disappointing still). Here they are:

First, I went back to Galera (see pics in friendster).

This time with gradeschool friends (translation: people you know way before you got your first period). Three single girls and two couples. What made this particular trip back to Galera was the fact that I traveled all the way to Mindoro ALONE. Yes, riding the cab to the bus station alone. Taking the Tritran bus to Batangas Pier alone. And finally riding a boat, this one air conditioned, alone. It was exciting and scary. The reason I ended up going to Galera alone was due to the fact that I didn't want to leave the house at 4am for security reasons and knowing my folks they wouldn't bring me to the bus station at that time of the day. I left my place at 5.30am riding a cab and there was already sunlight.

It rained a few minutes after I set foot on White Beach and it really sucked. My friends ened up sleeping early that night because they woke up at 3am that day to catch the first bus to batangas. See? It ended up counter productive. So I just ended up watching tv and drinking beer with one of my old classmates. The next day was way better. We had lots of sun (ergo a better tan). We had a touching moment at the beach while sunbathing. One of my friends I was with was Mimi. Her mom died 2 prior to our outing. Z my other friend asked her if it was okay for her to be at the beach only 2 weeks after her mom died unexpectedly. Mi said she thinks it was okay since she mentioned to her mom a week before she passed away that we were going to the beach and the mom allowed her. Shortly, a white butterfly came out of nowhere (no trees or plants near us cuz we were sunbathing on the sand near the water). The white butterfly flew towards Mi and left. I didn't see it but when I said sayang I didn't see Tita visit you. the butterfly flew back and rested on Mi's body, then left. We all felt it was Mi's mom visiting her. Some people might call it coincidence but we thought it wasn't because the timing of the butterfly coming towards us was just perfect.

Our trip home was a dramatic one. We took the 4pm trip back to batangas and unfortunately took the small boat (can accomodate 25 people instead of the usual 50-60). Upon stepping foot on the boat I scanned the boat fot lifevests. I only spotted 2! But it was too late the leave the boat. I mentioned the lack of vests to my friends. The lesson that I learned was I shouldn't have told them because the boatride home was terrible. Waves, waves and waves. If I didn't have my Mp3 player I would have been as terrified as they (most of the people on the boat) were. There were kids crying and adults shouting out of fear once in a while.

We safely returned to Manila that night. I slept over at Steph's place. I realized that I should have kept in touch with her in highschool or college. I realized that we had a lot more in common than I thought we did.

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Second highlight. I watched SWIII with Dr. H (I went out with him before but stopped hanging out with him until last week).

I told H that some people he knew which included myself doubted his sexuality. Actually I asked him if he was aware that some people thought he was closet gay. He was shocked! He had never heard of such perception about it. I was shocked to hear that it was the first time for him to hear such comment. I told him it was something I've heard more than once. I was even teased for dating him because some of my friends would say 'why do you date gay guys?'. He was heartbroken. He got so disappointed. He continuously ranted on how that perception could have materialized. I told him that prima facie it did seem he was kinda gay or extremely effem. He got depressed. I ended up serving him wine when he brought me home. As my friend V told me, curiousity got me into a sticky situation...again!

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In a week it would be a year since X2 and I broke up. I have not found love since then. Just a number of silly crushes and unreciprocated likes. None worth taking a leap of faith for.

Newsflash for my closest friends: I've decided to put my dating life on hold. I have to come to terms with being single. When I mean single I don't mean "single and happily dating and being out there". I have to really internalize being single for real. Single and content. To be content with what I have. To be content with the love that I have around me coming from family. To be content with the attention that I get from friends and family. I HAVE to be.

I have to find something that I can be passionate about. I have so much love and passion to share. I have to stop looking for a particular person to shower it on. I have to find an activity or a cause. Schoolwork? I don't think so (although, I think that's what I should be passionate about to save myself from getting kicked out..arghh).

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Two last weeks of freedom.

And then the games begin (again).