Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
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* Thursday, September 29, 2005 *
Creating a New Reality
10 days til finals. I'm tired. I'm PMS-sing. Studying proves to be not so productive but at least there's "some" progress.
I had a really bad recit in tax today and the worst part was that I studied. I had a mental block. I read the originals but could only remember the facts and the decision. 12 cases seem to be too much for me to fully comprehend. Is my brain shrinking or what???!
* * *
its been close to a month since having a shortlived slightly passionate "moment" with someone whom I ended up infatuated with. am I still infatuated? I guess. But I'd like to believe not as much. I'd like to believe that I have self control.
I see him around. Sometimes we stop and chat but most of the time I just smile and waive. Tonight I didn't even say hi despite the fact that we were only 2 meters away from each other.
I like the fact that I am challenging myself to ignore someone that I really really really like. It takes some major effort on my part but at the end of the day when I muster enough energy to ignore him I feel proud of myself.
* * *
The weird thing is everytime I close my eyes...its his face that I see. Its a really pleasant and cute face though so its hard to get off my head. And that image is something else that I have to deal with altogether. Argh... Maybe I should cut out a picture of some goodlooking actor from a magazine and stare at it before I sleep so that there would be some "image replacement" of sorts.
I had a really bad recit in tax today and the worst part was that I studied. I had a mental block. I read the originals but could only remember the facts and the decision. 12 cases seem to be too much for me to fully comprehend. Is my brain shrinking or what???!
* * *
its been close to a month since having a shortlived slightly passionate "moment" with someone whom I ended up infatuated with. am I still infatuated? I guess. But I'd like to believe not as much. I'd like to believe that I have self control.
I see him around. Sometimes we stop and chat but most of the time I just smile and waive. Tonight I didn't even say hi despite the fact that we were only 2 meters away from each other.
I like the fact that I am challenging myself to ignore someone that I really really really like. It takes some major effort on my part but at the end of the day when I muster enough energy to ignore him I feel proud of myself.
* * *
The weird thing is everytime I close my eyes...its his face that I see. Its a really pleasant and cute face though so its hard to get off my head. And that image is something else that I have to deal with altogether. Argh... Maybe I should cut out a picture of some goodlooking actor from a magazine and stare at it before I sleep so that there would be some "image replacement" of sorts.