Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
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* Friday, November 18, 2005 *
Burn
I had my burning ceremony this afternoon.
This reminds me of the Circle days when before a tourney we'd write down our deepest fears and anxieties on a piece of paper and burn them.
This time I burned some good memories of the recent past that I want to forget about because there's really no point in hoping that we'll see each other and sort things out (translation:me showing him that I didn't regret spending special time with him despite the surounding circumstances). He just disappeared after what happened. And with his disappearance I should burn those memories away and just deal with him if and when we see each other again.
As another blogger commented to my previous entry:
"Attachement leads to jealousy, the height of evil that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." -- master Yoda.
This has always been my problem...when I secretly liked someone for some time and when this person actually showed interest in me (although the person could be just "tripping") somehow I get attached. I get into daydreaming mode especially when he's single. That's the good thing about crushing on "taken" people...i just know there is no hope whatsoever. But then he's not taken and he hasn't been taken in years. Ugh!
Anyway...after burning the paper I could vaguely remember what happened. Now its like its in the far past. The burning ceremony always works for me.
I have to remind myself that I'm made of the more mature stuff and should just charge it to experience once again.
* * *
I've found out why he (not same person as above) looked bad the other day. His GF broke up with him. Thank Goodness I got so over him 2 days before his GF broke up with him...if it wasn't the case I'd be in deep shit especially that he has been asking me advice on how to get back with his GF. This guy is looney to ask for advice from me considering what we've been through! Anyway, I gave he best advice I could possibly give.
* * *
Evidence with Mr. Lim is K-I-L-L-I-N-G me! I was called to recite 2x and was not able to remember what I read. terrible. Oh well...nothing beats my crying exercises with sabio in consti 1.
This reminds me of the Circle days when before a tourney we'd write down our deepest fears and anxieties on a piece of paper and burn them.
This time I burned some good memories of the recent past that I want to forget about because there's really no point in hoping that we'll see each other and sort things out (translation:me showing him that I didn't regret spending special time with him despite the surounding circumstances). He just disappeared after what happened. And with his disappearance I should burn those memories away and just deal with him if and when we see each other again.
As another blogger commented to my previous entry:
"Attachement leads to jealousy, the height of evil that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." -- master Yoda.
This has always been my problem...when I secretly liked someone for some time and when this person actually showed interest in me (although the person could be just "tripping") somehow I get attached. I get into daydreaming mode especially when he's single. That's the good thing about crushing on "taken" people...i just know there is no hope whatsoever. But then he's not taken and he hasn't been taken in years. Ugh!
Anyway...after burning the paper I could vaguely remember what happened. Now its like its in the far past. The burning ceremony always works for me.
I have to remind myself that I'm made of the more mature stuff and should just charge it to experience once again.
* * *
I've found out why he (not same person as above) looked bad the other day. His GF broke up with him. Thank Goodness I got so over him 2 days before his GF broke up with him...if it wasn't the case I'd be in deep shit especially that he has been asking me advice on how to get back with his GF. This guy is looney to ask for advice from me considering what we've been through! Anyway, I gave he best advice I could possibly give.
* * *
Evidence with Mr. Lim is K-I-L-L-I-N-G me! I was called to recite 2x and was not able to remember what I read. terrible. Oh well...nothing beats my crying exercises with sabio in consti 1.