School started yesterday and I found myself in limbo. I felt that I left my other foot behind...stuck in the "sembreak past". Other than that fact, I'm expriencing an unsettling feeling in school. I can't seem to stay in the LSAC anymore for more than 15 minutes. Is it because I have grown out of it? Or maybe because it doesn't feel like home anymore. One thing is for sure...I seem to avoid staying there cuz I'm scared of finding myself "alone".

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This would be a very challenging semester for me especially due to Evidence and the Thesis outline defense. If there's one good thing that arises from this heavy workload it would be the fact that it leaves me with very little time to fall into self-pity or wallow in my infatuations (note: plural haha). It leaves me with little time to get anxious about studying because I have no choice but to study my ass off immediately. I guess there is always a silver lining in every dark cloud.

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I saw him yesterday. I didn't really care. The first thought that came into my head was, "why the hell does he look bad today?". Other than that its all "whatever".

I wonder why the sudden transformation in my feelings. Maybe because I finally realized that there is nothing "real" between us OR maybe because I have found myself another wonderful distraction.

Whatever it is...I don't really care because my feelings now don't lie there.

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"detach or die, Doll"

And yes, I want to live.