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Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
Friends
tambay ka dito pag walang magawa
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* Saturday, December 17, 2005 *
Lemonade From Lemons
This week was half light and half stressful. It was just stressful because of Evidence but otherwise I think this week would have been a breeze. I choose to stay in the boarding house over this weekend for my own peace of mind. Its tough living alone but sometimes its the only way to keep you sane. Thank goodness S & E are arriving soon and we'll be watching KingKong in powerplant tonight. Its really amazing how I've kept in touch with S & E constantly despite the fact that its been 3 years since I left college. I guess E will always be my dearest of all teamates. S is my closest college ka-barkada because of proximity (she's like a 5 minute ride away from my boardinghouse) and because our personalities complement each other. She being unaffected and me easily distracted and/or disturbed. * * * The whole day yesterday was spent with S just shopping and xmas party-hopping. The night was "spiced-up" with me getting caught in the crossfire of 2 insanely in love people. They arrived in a bar and I was the first person to be approached to "talk to him!". Then I had to move back and "talk to her". It wasn't the chillout I was expecting really. Although I was rattled in the beginning because I knew that I had to explain myself as well (involving a certain small issue)...thankfully I was able to manage them both with the help of the others. Interestingly, it reminded me of my past relationship with X1 which was a rollercoaster ride. Does witnessing such "event" get me disillusioned about relationships? The really funny thing is...IT DOESN'T. Not at all. The best part about fights is making up for them. haha =) Although, some fights should just end with parting ways. * * * I was having problems with dealing with my now deteriorated friendship with B because of circumstances that had taken place over the sembreak. I thought that I had fixed it the previous week by being friendly and cheery but then I guess I was wrong when the previous night he was well...really distant and I even felt at some point that he was annoyed at my mere presence. I'm the type of person that tries to see the good in people and tries to rationalize bad attitude/s towards me by saying that he/she had a bad day etc. However, as for B...I think I have faced a deadend. I'm trying to tell myself that his being aloof and impolite, despite my best efforts to make him feel accepted and cared for, is something he didn't mean to do. I'm trying to convince myself that his weird and impolite attitude towards me was done without the intention to make me feel bad. Someone told me I should just face the fact that maybe he is just an A-hole. Unfortunately, my head and my heart can't seem to agree. A part of me is extremely pissed at him but another part of me is just worried and weirded out. * * * H texted me that I should remember that, "lemonade from lemons". An excerpt from a website talking about the proverb: Jill Eisnaugle 2004 When life hands you lemons - you make lemonade. This ageless proverb has long served as a beacon of hope and comfort to grieving souls worn by life’s most complex and heart-wrenching difficulties. Yet, at times, we have all found ourselves laughing over the simplicity of this deeply meaningful phrase. When one stops to consider the deeper meaning behind the proverb, however, it is easy to identify many instances in which we all have taken life much too seriously and how believing in the principle behind this phrase has been so worthy of our understanding. In any given week, we may experience car trouble, cellular phone troubles, bad weather woes or traffic snarls. Each instance will leave us with the tendency to question why these things constantly happen to us. But, in reality, we should stop to realize that everything happens for a reason and that reason may not ever be known. So when life hands you a lemon, you can either toss it aside and wait for an apple or you can take life as it has come to you and make a glass of lemonade to share with others through the positive light and influences that you emit. The gift of giving always finds a way to give itself back to you - a thousand times over and only you have the ability to decide which path is best. * * * Wow, the meaning of the proverb is "Christmasy" too. |