Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
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* Saturday, April 15, 2006 *
The Genetic Pool
To those who will read this entry...warning: this entry might annoy you. read at your own risk. =P
* * *
My friend told me during a party that I seem to be obsessed with the genetic pool and the improvement of the race (mine in particular). I couldn't disagree cuz it was the truth.
What frustrates me is that fact that those who fancy me are just not my type and would clearly not improve the present genetic pool. One dude's just as tall as I am. The others are either too dark or whose IQ I am not certain of. I clearly understand that I am not a stunning person but that is my point exactly...I would love an improvement of the race and not the other way around. Is that too much to ask???
I believe that in relationships love can fade BUT the children you create will stay. I wouldn't want a faulty relationship to produce ugly children. One mistake is enough.
And thus, I daydream of a guy I recently met whose genes make him worthy of a biophysics degree and a job in Cern. He's eyes are so beautiful being half-indian and his features are so nice being half-swedish. *sigh* He's on his "world tour" and I met him in some house party. Talking to him made me sound silly. I love it! As my friend Y said..."I don't need a fan. I need an equal if not someone better".
My guy friend refused to give me his number because we we're going to set him up with our dear friend who is equally intelligent and who never had a BF. Oh well.
Another frustrated plan to improve my family's genetic pool.
* * *
I'm struggling to forget him. I'm struggling not to care.
* * *
M and I texted. He wanted to meet up and get close. I told him I'd spare him the risk of me being attached to him so I'd opt to just be "strictly friends". He told me "no worries" and that I should "own" my decisions. I like him too much to risk it. After what happened the past sem with C and him I know my weaknesses. I know that if I meet up with him under a "not just friends" context I'm in for a heartbreak because its only me who will end up having feelings. I'm not a big fan for unrequited love. I hate it.
* * *
Easter's coming up! =) yey!
* * *
No more miss nice girl, C. I heard you are on one of your quests to gain acceptance and recognition. Since you disrespected me and others...your path to gaining acceptance won't be easy. And I will make sure to the best of my ability that it will be tough. I gave you a chance to OWN your actions... you refused to...and now you'll face the music...not in my hands but in another's.
* * *
My friend told me during a party that I seem to be obsessed with the genetic pool and the improvement of the race (mine in particular). I couldn't disagree cuz it was the truth.
What frustrates me is that fact that those who fancy me are just not my type and would clearly not improve the present genetic pool. One dude's just as tall as I am. The others are either too dark or whose IQ I am not certain of. I clearly understand that I am not a stunning person but that is my point exactly...I would love an improvement of the race and not the other way around. Is that too much to ask???
I believe that in relationships love can fade BUT the children you create will stay. I wouldn't want a faulty relationship to produce ugly children. One mistake is enough.
And thus, I daydream of a guy I recently met whose genes make him worthy of a biophysics degree and a job in Cern. He's eyes are so beautiful being half-indian and his features are so nice being half-swedish. *sigh* He's on his "world tour" and I met him in some house party. Talking to him made me sound silly. I love it! As my friend Y said..."I don't need a fan. I need an equal if not someone better".
My guy friend refused to give me his number because we we're going to set him up with our dear friend who is equally intelligent and who never had a BF. Oh well.
Another frustrated plan to improve my family's genetic pool.
* * *
I'm struggling to forget him. I'm struggling not to care.
* * *
M and I texted. He wanted to meet up and get close. I told him I'd spare him the risk of me being attached to him so I'd opt to just be "strictly friends". He told me "no worries" and that I should "own" my decisions. I like him too much to risk it. After what happened the past sem with C and him I know my weaknesses. I know that if I meet up with him under a "not just friends" context I'm in for a heartbreak because its only me who will end up having feelings. I'm not a big fan for unrequited love. I hate it.
* * *
Easter's coming up! =) yey!
* * *
No more miss nice girl, C. I heard you are on one of your quests to gain acceptance and recognition. Since you disrespected me and others...your path to gaining acceptance won't be easy. And I will make sure to the best of my ability that it will be tough. I gave you a chance to OWN your actions... you refused to...and now you'll face the music...not in my hands but in another's.