Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
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* Tuesday, May 23, 2006 *
Old Habits Die Hard
Last night was again spent hanging around the debate community and my favorite org of all time...the circle. They had a wonderful run at the AUDC. I got really tipsy, dancie and noisy at DISH and at someone's house.
The dancefloor was a really weird mix of people, music and scents. Well, that's an international debate tourney's break night party for you.
* * *
CONGRATS Circle! Good luck!
* * *
I woke up this morning telling myself:
"shet ****, old habits die hard".
---------
States of altered consciousness often leave me either passive OR aggressive. In rare occassions it makes me passive-aggressive. Last night I'm not quite sure what I was. And I'm very much worried that I might have been passive-aggressive although from my recollection of events I don't think I was. But I could be wrong.
* * *
When will I ever learn to be my old and normal self..where life was simple and in order? Nowadays I find myself dipping my wounded foot in water where the sharks are. I know I shouldn't. However I still do and I end up lifting my foot out of the water a few seconds too late.
M told me that I should "own my decisions" whatever they are. I'm not quite sure what that meant. As far as I understand it its facing the consequenes of whatever action I choose to take.
This reminds of a line in the movie Unfaithful where the seductive foreigner guy says something to the married woman he was seducing. The woman tells him that being with him is a mistake. The man replies "there is no such thing as a mistake...only things you did and did not do". Drats, THAT LINE doesn't really help my curret predicament but it did made me think (wonder).
The dancefloor was a really weird mix of people, music and scents. Well, that's an international debate tourney's break night party for you.
* * *
CONGRATS Circle! Good luck!
* * *
I woke up this morning telling myself:
"shet ****, old habits die hard".
---------
States of altered consciousness often leave me either passive OR aggressive. In rare occassions it makes me passive-aggressive. Last night I'm not quite sure what I was. And I'm very much worried that I might have been passive-aggressive although from my recollection of events I don't think I was. But I could be wrong.
* * *
When will I ever learn to be my old and normal self..where life was simple and in order? Nowadays I find myself dipping my wounded foot in water where the sharks are. I know I shouldn't. However I still do and I end up lifting my foot out of the water a few seconds too late.
M told me that I should "own my decisions" whatever they are. I'm not quite sure what that meant. As far as I understand it its facing the consequenes of whatever action I choose to take.
This reminds of a line in the movie Unfaithful where the seductive foreigner guy says something to the married woman he was seducing. The woman tells him that being with him is a mistake. The man replies "there is no such thing as a mistake...only things you did and did not do". Drats, THAT LINE doesn't really help my curret predicament but it did made me think (wonder).