Persons are complex beings.
Sweet Little Ice Queen
I love analyzing people and situations, people say its a gift. Unfortunately, I have great difficulty analyzing who I really am and I'm already in my early twenties.
I hope this online journal will help me sort myself out or this would be the best venue to vent out pent up cold anxiety...and share the things that make me warm, sweet and happy (or sappy!).
Friends
tambay ka dito pag walang magawa
Leave a Message
* Sunday, July 02, 2006 *
Failure to Connect
Tomorrow is the thesis draft deadline. But this entry is not about thesis. This entry is about how doing your thesis and living away from home can make you invisible.
Yesterday we had a free cut in practice court and thus the day was spent shopping, eating, going to mass, reading and partying. little did I know that I was supposed to be some place else. Some place important. Yesterday was our clan's family reunion in Alabang. IT was also the despedida of my tito-ninong's family who would be migrating to australia. This family is the family I live with for a couple of days before I take my midterm or final exams in lawschool for the past 3 years. Their family adopts me when I am stressed and down.
One might ask, why don't I seek refuge in my OWN family? The answer is simple: my own family is 90% is stressed and dysfunctional. This exact stressed disposition caused my mom and sister to FORGET to inform me about the reunion despite the fact that I did call home 3x the night before the reunion and I even got to talk to them.
It pains me that I was unable to go to the reunion. I only discovered about the party today when I called my house to "make kamusta" my family. I cried a lot over the phone when I found out that I missed out on so much. My family forgot to inform me of such important even despite my efforts to keep in touch. My other relatives of course assumed that my own family informed me. My own parents and sister ASSUMED that I was too busy to go. They didn't ask me if I was going. Had they even asked why I wasn't going Then i would have discovered there was a reunion to go to in the first place.
Why has my life been reduced to this? Reduced to schoolwork. My own family has left me to live a very lonely world. In fact, its be who even asks them how they are. With all the technology in the world today my own family fails to connect. Sadly, I try to connect with them but they just forget about me.
My relatives who adopt me during my hard times are now migrating to Australia. I didn't get to hug them and thank them in person because my stressed and dysfunctional family forgot to tell me about their despedida.
When they leave this week where will I go?
Yesterday we had a free cut in practice court and thus the day was spent shopping, eating, going to mass, reading and partying. little did I know that I was supposed to be some place else. Some place important. Yesterday was our clan's family reunion in Alabang. IT was also the despedida of my tito-ninong's family who would be migrating to australia. This family is the family I live with for a couple of days before I take my midterm or final exams in lawschool for the past 3 years. Their family adopts me when I am stressed and down.
One might ask, why don't I seek refuge in my OWN family? The answer is simple: my own family is 90% is stressed and dysfunctional. This exact stressed disposition caused my mom and sister to FORGET to inform me about the reunion despite the fact that I did call home 3x the night before the reunion and I even got to talk to them.
It pains me that I was unable to go to the reunion. I only discovered about the party today when I called my house to "make kamusta" my family. I cried a lot over the phone when I found out that I missed out on so much. My family forgot to inform me of such important even despite my efforts to keep in touch. My other relatives of course assumed that my own family informed me. My own parents and sister ASSUMED that I was too busy to go. They didn't ask me if I was going. Had they even asked why I wasn't going Then i would have discovered there was a reunion to go to in the first place.
Why has my life been reduced to this? Reduced to schoolwork. My own family has left me to live a very lonely world. In fact, its be who even asks them how they are. With all the technology in the world today my own family fails to connect. Sadly, I try to connect with them but they just forget about me.
My relatives who adopt me during my hard times are now migrating to Australia. I didn't get to hug them and thank them in person because my stressed and dysfunctional family forgot to tell me about their despedida.
When they leave this week where will I go?